A LITTLE GIRL CAME TO SEE THE VISIT WIZARD.
“VISIT WIZARD,” she pleaded, “can you make my parents more relaxed? I never get to do anything fun and I always have to mind my manners.” The Visit Wizard waved the VW stick and poof! her parents became more lenient.
Then a little boy came to see the Visit Wizard. “Visit Wizard!” he cried, “my parents let me do whatever I want and I always get yelled at by the other adults. Can you make them give me some boundaries?” The Visit Wizard waved the VW stick and poof! the parents of the little boy became stricter. The moral of this story? Always carry a Visit Wizard stick.
Unless you have a nanny, cook, Dr. Phil, or the Visit Wizard stick with you, visiting with children will be stressful. More planning, preparing flexibility, patience, and skill is required than typical adult visits. And don’t worry, no matter your parenting style, strict or relaxed, someone is going to find fault. The only one you can count on to be on your side is the dog. The cat really doesn’t care. The only thing that is certain is that following some of these basic rules will make the visit more enjoyable for everyone (including you) and one of the best experiences in the life of your child, the memory of which will be long cherished.
A Simple Plan: Anticipate Your Needs in Advance
I WAS HEADED SOMEWHERE . . . OR MAYBE JUST ARRIVING HOME,I can’t remember which, and it really doesn’t matter. It could have been any airport, anywhere in the world. It was a Friday afternoon, it was hot, and the airport was busy. I looked up, plastic fork poised tentatively over my greasy scrambled egg something, and could only watch aghast as a young mother trudged past, pushing one of those two-children strollers that needs its own parking space, loaded down like some twenty-first century version of the Joads from The Grapes of Wrath. Bags hung all over it, blankets and other items were stacked one on top of the other. The mother looked like she was on a mission from hell: Grandma’s or bust! I can only assume there were two children somewhere in the pile. Coming behind was Dad, toting four pieces of baggage, two collapsible strollers tucked under one arm, shirt half in, half out, and a similarly fierce look on his face. I wanted to run over and offer help, but I knew in my heart it would do no good. I only hoped that this leg of the trip would be the tough part, but sadly I knew it was probably just the beginning.
Like this couple so literally demonstrates, children come with baggage—lots of it. Find me a parent who breezes through an airport with one suitcase and a carry-on, and I’ll show you a parent who left her child at home. Good planning will mean less stress and headache for you for the entire course of the trip. There’s a fine line between dragging the entire contents of your home and leaving everything to chance. You want to be prepared, but not overburdened. So, what to bring? Let’s start with the basics...
Read more...
Table of contents and pages for:
Visiting with Children and Young Adult Confidential . . .200
A Simple Plan: Anticipate Your Needs in Advance . . .201
Do Ask, Do Tell: Communicate with Your Host in
Advance . . .204 • High Anxiety: Reassure Your Child Before the
Visit . . .208 • Ain’t Misbehavin’: Help Your Child Be on His Best
Behavior . . .211 • You’re Not Off the Hook: Take Responsibility
for Your Child . . .214 • Keep Your Cool, Keep Your Head . . .217
Happy Endings: Make a Smooth Exit . . .218 • Young Adult
Confidential: Your First Time Visiting Alone . . .219
“VISIT WIZARD,” she pleaded, “can you make my parents more relaxed? I never get to do anything fun and I always have to mind my manners.” The Visit Wizard waved the VW stick and poof! her parents became more lenient.
Then a little boy came to see the Visit Wizard. “Visit Wizard!” he cried, “my parents let me do whatever I want and I always get yelled at by the other adults. Can you make them give me some boundaries?” The Visit Wizard waved the VW stick and poof! the parents of the little boy became stricter. The moral of this story? Always carry a Visit Wizard stick.
Unless you have a nanny, cook, Dr. Phil, or the Visit Wizard stick with you, visiting with children will be stressful. More planning, preparing flexibility, patience, and skill is required than typical adult visits. And don’t worry, no matter your parenting style, strict or relaxed, someone is going to find fault. The only one you can count on to be on your side is the dog. The cat really doesn’t care. The only thing that is certain is that following some of these basic rules will make the visit more enjoyable for everyone (including you) and one of the best experiences in the life of your child, the memory of which will be long cherished.
A Simple Plan: Anticipate Your Needs in Advance
I WAS HEADED SOMEWHERE . . . OR MAYBE JUST ARRIVING HOME,I can’t remember which, and it really doesn’t matter. It could have been any airport, anywhere in the world. It was a Friday afternoon, it was hot, and the airport was busy. I looked up, plastic fork poised tentatively over my greasy scrambled egg something, and could only watch aghast as a young mother trudged past, pushing one of those two-children strollers that needs its own parking space, loaded down like some twenty-first century version of the Joads from The Grapes of Wrath. Bags hung all over it, blankets and other items were stacked one on top of the other. The mother looked like she was on a mission from hell: Grandma’s or bust! I can only assume there were two children somewhere in the pile. Coming behind was Dad, toting four pieces of baggage, two collapsible strollers tucked under one arm, shirt half in, half out, and a similarly fierce look on his face. I wanted to run over and offer help, but I knew in my heart it would do no good. I only hoped that this leg of the trip would be the tough part, but sadly I knew it was probably just the beginning.
Like this couple so literally demonstrates, children come with baggage—lots of it. Find me a parent who breezes through an airport with one suitcase and a carry-on, and I’ll show you a parent who left her child at home. Good planning will mean less stress and headache for you for the entire course of the trip. There’s a fine line between dragging the entire contents of your home and leaving everything to chance. You want to be prepared, but not overburdened. So, what to bring? Let’s start with the basics...
Read more...
Table of contents and pages for:
Visiting with Children and Young Adult Confidential . . .200
A Simple Plan: Anticipate Your Needs in Advance . . .201
Do Ask, Do Tell: Communicate with Your Host in
Advance . . .204 • High Anxiety: Reassure Your Child Before the
Visit . . .208 • Ain’t Misbehavin’: Help Your Child Be on His Best
Behavior . . .211 • You’re Not Off the Hook: Take Responsibility
for Your Child . . .214 • Keep Your Cool, Keep Your Head . . .217
Happy Endings: Make a Smooth Exit . . .218 • Young Adult
Confidential: Your First Time Visiting Alone . . .219